OPERATION: world

Yeah not a good idea to put the Title first now I have to try and defend the title by an appropriating entry. But this is my life, so it shouldn't be that hard, well except the question mark I don't really know what that is all about.

More so its 4am. Not a bad time if I say so myself, I'm not tired or anything so I was just changing the colors on my blog and I decided to update myself on my life. In first person of course, 3rd person would be way to weird.

Begin.

I want to write but not about anything in particular. So random thoughts shall emerge. I went on a date Friday night. It had been previously a year or so since my last date so it was refreshing in a way. However I'm definitely socially inept in more ways than one. Partly I need a group of friends to hang around to become more conversational. This has always been an issue of mine, I'm good with a meditated thought out bit of words, but speaking on the spot in normal convo is just strange to me. It probably comes out choppy and disconnected like I am. EG. prayer is just about the same way. So during the date I practically have no idea who she is and was constantly trying to conversate in a normal way which was basically impossible. So I looked confused for probably half of the night and the other half I most likely asked random disconnected questions. The place I took her to eat at was, looking back at it, not a place to take dates. Then I beat her at Putt-Putt and Go-Carts and punished her for losing by picking a terrible flavored ice cream for her to eat (winner choses flavor). So I asked her for a second date on Sunday and naturally she said "no" like any sane individual would. So yeah no surprise.

Reflecting back on it it seems that I'm inadequate to date persons of her nature soI need to do some things differently. One idea I had was just not to date but then I decided that waiting a year was more than enough and I would probably like to date. Other ideas, learn to conversate, lower my standards, go to date places, act different than I am....But yeah I guess the deal is I was maybe trying to force something. I need to be in a natural setting and I'd be a better judge of attraction; a setting of friends and friendships. A setting that I'm not in currently.

to keep this post this long i'll probably type another post unrelated to the first