OPERATION: world

Well just falling apart. My worries are unfounded and so are my frustrations, but that does not seem to get rid of them. When things start going bad they all seem to converge in the same time frame. I have fallen off, near completely and I'm worried about this summer. The moment when you feel your dreams in life may be changing. Everything has been more or less handed to me so far in life but now I have to go out and make something of myself. This is the point where I realize that I've fallen short. Not a week goes by that someone doesn't say "Why do you work at United you have an accounting degree?" To this I have no complete answer. Obviously I guess I aim low in life and hope to be fulfilled when I surpass my mark, but this is a bad way to go about life I'm starting to notice. I do have some talents, God has gifted me with an above average knack for math related topics. My relational skills with people are sub-par though partly because I'm rarely around people. I really feel like I just wander around not taking any particular heed to anything just kind of moping around. Place to place I am an observer watching people and how they act, criticizing them in my mind. I'm not much to say anything I usually have to think through my thoughts to say something that makes sense. Its a strange world I live in, viewing parking lots cracked and growing grass. I woke up at 6 am this morning no one does that sort of thing. I wish I didn't think so much. Reminds me of a poster I saw in high school it said, "sometimes I sits and thinks, other times I just sits". Well yeah that's my life. Nothing spiritual this post.